Do You Have a Pleasure Deficit?
By Jacquelyn B. Fletcher
Last Tuesday a series of things happened that made me realize I am experiencing a pleasure deficit. First, I had a lunch with some really groovy folks. Jocelyn Hale, the Executive Director of the Loft Literary Center, Dennis Cass, the author of the hilarious and fantastic book Head Case, and Pilar Gerasimo, Editor-in-Chief of Experience Life magazine. We were discussing an article in the December issue of Experience Life called A Real Pleasure in which the staff of the magazine describe how all the latest research in the fields of positive psychology, neurology, and psychoneuroimmunology show that pleasure is good for us. Yet, each of us at the table admitted to not taking proper care of ourselves by doing activities that really gave us joy. For instance, I absolutely love massages but I haven't booked one since before my daughter Eva was born. She's 8 months old.
Why? Because when I take breaks that are just for me, my Inner Critic starts beating me up: "You should be spending more time with your husband! How dare you get a massage when you should be playing with your baby! What are you doing taking a break from work? You don't want the bank to foreclose on your house, do you?! Have you seen the state of the kitchen? How could you live in such filth?! Cancel that massage you selfish cow, you have to clean the house!"
After my inspiring lunch appointment, I ended up at the eye doctor with what turned out to be a case of episcleritis. My left eye was all red and it hurt. Why? Because I'd been listening to the Inner Critic's messages and ...Read more
Holiday Stress: It's Not Just for Parents Anymore
Heather MacLeod, LICSW
Children's Physician Network
It's no secret that holidays can be stressful for adults: Family gatherings, elaborate meals, holiday shopping... It's often something we look forward to, only to suffer utter exhaustion when it's all over. So how can families help kids from becoming stressed and over-tired in the midst of all the typical festivities?
1. Plan ahead, but stay flexible. Believe it or not, holidays are not the time for big surprises. Unwrapping gifts is one thing, but a surprise cross-country trip is another: Knowing what to expect in general will reduce stress for everyone, especially children. Choose activities that you really want to do, and feel ok about saying "no" to everything else. But don't panic if some extra guests arrive to share the holiday meal or if you can't get that last gift put together before it's time to open it. Kids will follow your lead: If you stay relaxed, chances are they will too.
2. Stick to your normal routine as much as possible. Staying close to normal mealtimes and bedtimes (even if you're away from home) will help to make sure that the whole family is eating and sleeping well.
3. Schedule some quiet days close to home. Don't underestimate the power of having a day to stay home, sleep in, and play in your normal environment. Days like this can reduce the decathlon-like pace of the holiday season.
4. Let others help. For almost every holiday gathering you host, you'll have invitees calling to ...Read more
Top 5 Products for Busy Moms
By Nicole LaMarco
Parents have so many choices these days with gimmicks and gizmos advertised to aid them in childrearing. Lots of things aren't safe for kids and others aren't all they are promised to be. Here is a top-5 list of products for parents that will really help and get kids involved.
1. Mark My Time Bookmark -- This was written up in O, Oprah's own magazine. Children keep the bookmark in whatever magazine or book they are reading and activate the time whenever they begin reading. The goal is 30 minutes of reading per day. Kids love it because it's brightly colored and it gives them a sense of control. No more shouting to ask mom "am I done yet?" because this device let's you set a timer, or time yourself. Available at retail bookstores nationwide.
2. TV Timer/BOB -- This machine allows parents to time and control how much, if any, children may spend on any one media device. Works with any TV, computer, or gaming console: the power cord from any media device is plugged and locked into BOB, and BOB is then plugged into any standard outlet. Parents may dictate an amount of time and when it expires, whatever media children are using automatically shuts off. Each child has a PIN for the BOB to access the machine they want to use, which parents can access and monitor as well. You can find this gadget online very easily and at many religious bookstores.
3. Dot. Mine -- Day planners designed by and for busy professionals/parents with an aim to maximize time and organize several ...Read more
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